Androids Never Die
by jprime-last-of-the-brunnen-g
Summary: ST characters never stay dead long!I mean, Tasha got more time on dead when she was than alive!
1. Chapter 1A mysterious beginning

Captain Data Soong stood on the bridge of the brand new USS ENTERPRISE, proudly surveying his crew, a crack group of starfleets finest, pulled staight from the top classes at Starfleet Academy.  
  
Granted they were rather inexperienced, but Data was etarnally optimistic about thier abilities, as well as his own.  
  
The emotion chip had granted him, among other things, the ability to empathise with members of the crew and so he hoped to overcome previous failings he had encountered during a brief command post in the scheme to uncover a Romulan/Duras alliance.  
  
'Ensign Keith, take us out at one quarter impulse power if you please'  
  
'Aye Captain', came the preprogrammed response.  
  
  
  
The only thing these new officers lack is a hint of individuality, instead they behave like a minature Borg Collective, Data mused.  
  
Data's Combadge emmited a short wistle, a tone left over from the days when starships had intercoms built into the walls.  
  
Data tapped the Badge promptly.  
  
'Hello Brother!Today I found something wonderful and amazing in the ships database!You simply must come and see!'  
  
'B4, my duties currently prevent that occurence, as I am currently Commanding the Bridge.'  
  
Data had made a habit of deactivating his emotion chip when addressing B4, as to prevent the android equivalent of a migraine.  
  
'But you MUST see it brother! It has changed my entire outlook on life!'  
  
'So whould a hyperspanner across the temples', Keith muttered.   
  
Data silently agreed.  
  
'Very well, B4, send it to Science Station two on the Bridge.  
  
A large envelope marked 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!' apeared in the middle of the display.  
  
Data opened the message and discoved a massive file marked 'THE COMPLETE AND UNABRIDGED WORKS OF DOCTOR SUESS, 174790TH EDITION".  
  
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Like it so far!?Yes I have seen Nemesis and am aware Data died but that will be explained next chapter-I promise!  
  
Please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. Chapter 2B4

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Hi all my silent Trekkie friends!Please review!  
  
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Keith snickered and hid his face to hide it.  
  
Data's control over the emotion chip faltered under the massive urge to scream in dismay.  
  
'Isn't it wonderful, brother!? The man is a genius!'  
  
'B4', Data said through gritted teeth.  
  
'Yes brother?', the amazingly idiotic android twin responded exuberently.  
  
'Please. Refrain.From.Calling.Me.On.The.Bridge!'  
  
'Exept when I need to show you something!?'  
  
'No!'  
  
'Please remind the man with furry hands that our game of 'Candyland'is tonight again!'  
  
Keith rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. Babysitting B4 was not on Starfleet Exams.  
  
'B4,Please put your ear near the console'.  
  
In Data and B4's quarters, the miserably antiquated android removed his left ear and pressed it against the Com Badge.  
  
The voices stopped, the speaker completely covered by the robotic ear.  
  
'I can't hear you anymore, Data!'  
  
B4 began to sob miserably and slumped to the floor.  
  
As he did so,the detached ear fell also.  
  
'-is the problem?B4, I cannot hear you.What is the problem?'  
  
B4 leaped up happily at the sound of Datas voice.  
  
'Please respond'  
  
'YES! IM STILL HERE!'  
  
'Please put you ear to the combadge'.  
  
B4's tiny positronic brain put two and two together and finally realized that the ear was supposed to be still plugged in.  
  
He complied with his brother's command, since he was so much older and possesed (to B4)nearly godlike intelligence.  
  
A rapid sequence of modem signals raced through the commbadge.  
  
B4 fell backwards, deactivated.  
  
Back on the bridge, Data smiled.  
  
Gotta love ancient modems, he thought to himself.  
  
The on/off program is in the root command folder!  
  
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Did you like it? Sorry I put off the explination again! Please review! 


	3. Chapter 3B4sitting

iMuch later/i  
  
'OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!Molasses swamp again.Oopsie Poopsie!"  
  
Keith groaned.  
  
iEven though it was only himself and B4 made it seem like it himself, B4, B5, and B6./i  
  
B4 was busy amusing himself by putting the extra pieces in his nostrils when he had a marvelous idea.  
  
'I know!'  
  
'Nothing',Keith remarked wryly.  
  
'Noooooooooooooooooooooooo.......But close!I'll use the other pieces to play too!'  
  
iOh brother.Now that positronic idiot's gonna really become B4, B5,and B6./i  
  
B4 gathered up the extra pieces cleaning off the axel grease 'boogers' as he went. B4 even grabbed up Keith's piece, wich was still sitting idly at Lord Licorisces Castle.  
  
Oh well, now I dont have to play this moronic game at least.  
  
Keith, free of his unluckily assigned duties as B4-sitter, wandered over to the cabinet were Data kept his most prized possessions and awards.The Medal of Honor with clusters, the Legion of Honor, the Star Cross and an award for Actions Above and Beyond the Call of Duty,which he had earned bny trying to prevent the destruction of the Enterprise E.  
  
iIt must be so hard to live with the knowledge that almost everyone you cared about is dead. Maybe thats why he cares so much for his brother, as much as he hides it./i   
  
Keith turned back to B4, trying to dry his suddenly misty eyes.  
  
So many fine Starfleet officers had met fitting heroes deaths that fateful day, saving the galaxy from the maniac Shinzon.Jean-Luc Picard, the Borg survivor. Geordi Laforge, the blind Engineer.Beverly Crusher, the curer of so many diseases.Worf, the proud Klingon who finally got his warriors trip to Sto-Kor-Vor.  
  
Data had been found three weeks later by a search team sent by Starfleet, floating in space.  
  
Data had only survived by the skin of his platinum-irridium teeth.Although flying headlong through a tritanium bulkhead had reduced him to a lump of twisted bioplast sheeting leaking positrons, Noonien Soong's brilliance defended the all important core processor and gave Doctor Maddox's team enough to work with.  
  
It suddenly occured to Keith that B4 had been there when it had happened and possessed all of Datas core memory, although he couldn't comprehend most of it.  
  
'B4, can I talk to you about something?'  
  
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How did I do at my attempt at a sad bit? Don't worry! The crew's fine and we'll meet them in two chapters, if not the next one. Please review!Thanks Yuuki for the kind review on chapter 1! 


	4. Chapter 4 A Moment of Silence

The next day....  
  
Captain Data sat on the Bridge at exactly the position he had taken the previous day.   
  
And the day before that.  
  
And the day before that.In fact he took that position every day with mechanical precision.  
  
Today was a particularly dreary and slow day day on the Enterprise F.  
  
Enterprise F.  
  
What a rotten name, Data thought. He had always knew that the next Enterprise was predestined be named F, but he had always hoped by some miracle Starfleet computers whould have a glitch and name the ship Enterprise G.   
  
The day was further agravaited by the fact it was the anniversary of the Enterprise E's destruction.  
  
Data wished he could forget that and miss the day without ceremony, but, as he had once told Guinan (poor Guinan)his timing was digital.  
  
In exactly twelve hours, thirteen minutes, and twenty-one seconds it will have been one complete year since Enterprise went down.  
  
And Data, the nearly indistructible android could do nothing to stop it, nothing to stop the endless march of time.  
  
Data thought for a long time (1.3456 seconds) about what action whould be appropriate.   
  
Finally he reached a decision.  
  
Captain Data Soong of the Federation Starship Enterprise stood up from his chair and activated the intercom.  
  
'I wish to conduct a moment of silence to remember the brave martyrs of the Starship Esnterprise E who gave thier lives so that we could live.All rise.'  
  
Keith too had been counting down. He had been wondering what the captain whould do.Whould he just ignore it, or whould he have a ceremony?  
  
Now he had his answer.  
  
B4, sitting stupidly on the floor of their quarters contemplating 'The Grinch Who stole Christmas' heared the message and complied.  
  
Exactly 34.54 seconds into the minute of silence, Ensign Cohane spoke up.  
  
'There's something hailing us, sir'.  
  
Data spun around, furious.Who dared to interupt the moment of silence?It just didn't seem right.  
  
'Onscreen'.  
  
'This is Captain Picard of the Federation Starship Enterprise'.  
  
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Sorry about the cliffhanger folks!It wont be the last I can promise you!Thanks again to Yukki and the anonymous reviewer who also took the time to send a message. Im already going to work Q into this but i'll try to have Lore come too,ok?   
  
-jprime 


	5. Chapter 5Q

Data was speachless for a millisecond, the said, stuttering,   
  
'C-Captain?'  
  
'Who are you and why do you look like Commander Datar?  
  
Data winced. Any doubs he might have had about this being an imposter vanished.  
  
Captain Picard *always* called him 'Datar'  
  
'Because I am Data.'  
  
Occums Razor, the simplest answer tends to be the right one.  
  
'But he was destroyed in the explosion aboard the Scimtar!'  
  
'In my view of events it was you who was destroyed.I was standing in the shuttle bay of the Enterprise whenthe explosion occured. I myself only boarded the Scimtar once.  
  
'No'.  
  
Oh no. The Captain was going into a denial trance.  
  
'Yes'.  
  
'No'.  
  
'Yes'.  
  
'I hate to break up this stimulating conversation but I have an errand to run and I'm already bored.'  
  
The last sentance had been spoken by an ordinary looking man who had just materialized on the bridge in a flash of light.  
  
'Alright Picard I'll fill in the opening remarks for you.  
  
On the Enterprise, Picards facial expressions became a blur as he spoke on fast forward like a chipmunk on helium.  
  
'AlrightQisthisyourdoing?Getthehellofmyship!DamnyouQ!Whydoyoualwaysbotherme?Urggggg!DanmDanmDamn! DAMN YOU Q!'  
  
'Gooood!Now that we're re-aquainted I have an errand to run and I must be getting on with that.'  
  
'What is the nature of your errand, Q?'  
  
'To return you back were you belong, Tin-Man! You have done a marverous job of mucking up the continuum so I have to put it back. Starting with the first loose thread, Commandere Data!'  
  
'Why can't anyone see I have four pips?!'  
  
Q rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. He rather liked that particular trick of humanity.It was very useful for conveying a condescending attitude.  
  
'I haven't got much time so I'll make the explanation short'.  
  
'When Data detonated the the Scimtars Core he was not destroyed but rather he was mangled quite badly and fell through a hole in time, space, and dimension to wind up in another parallel universe where it was you,'motioning towards Picard and the others on the viewscreen,'who died heroiclly.Much of Datas memory files on this incident were fried so he now believes what was told to him.How he was thrown through bulokheads on the Enterprise, how he flew through space.Blah, Blah, Blah....'  
  
'But that does not explain your mission,Q!'  
  
'To take you back, dear Tin-Man. To take you back.'  
  
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Did that suck or what? But im the only one who can say that!  
  
I saw all the stuff on top of 'Androids' so I knew I had to hurry it up.Gotta go, Totally Spies is on!Yay! 


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